I turn 51 years old on January 25th.  I remember turning 50 ("fitty" as I use to say), it was kind a depressed time, why?  I remember at 30 thinking life is over at 50. But of course that did not happen. I still feel like at 25 year old trapped in this older bear body.

I have always had some rules that I lived by. Did I follow them all the time, NO. Nobody is perfect but trying to set some guidelines by which we live by, helps us in times of indecision.  So as I contemplate the next year having passed the half a century mark, I want to share some of the rules I lived by or "should have" lived by:

1. Always be true to yourself; remember you are a unique individual. The best way to be honest with yourself is to be honest with others.
2. Rememberer "Karma" is a bitch. Treat and respect others they way you want to be treated and respected. Don't be-little others because of their age or physical appearance.  Remember, one day you will be older too.
3. Get good friends and cherish them. Remember a gay person's friends are their family.
4. Get over rejection. Most have specific types they like (bears/leather/twinks/etc).  If you are not their type, it has nothing to do with you, so it is ridiculous to feel rejected.
5. Get over being shy and get some courage. So say something to that someone you are curious about and get it over with. (See Rule 4)
6. Never Hate. Hate is nothing but negativity and hating a person gives them "control" over you.
7. It is what is on the inside that counts. Those with bodies of death, perfect hair, and expensive clothes may look like they have it all together, but most live in terror that their "fake" exterior will break and fall away; causing others to see the empty shell inside.
8. Enjoy life to the fullest. Travel, plan fun times with friends, go out and socialize and try new things. Life is too short.  Don't be the one in your "golden years" that wishes they would have done all the things they no longer can.
9. Remember, your partner is your partner.
   • Be Kind to them
   • Do Nice things for them.
   • Communicate with them about everything.
   • Accept them as they are.
   • Forgive them when they mess up.
   • Tell them you love them.
10. Trust your gut.  If you think something is wrong, it usually is.

These are really 10 simple rules if you think about. Are they easy? Hell no! But trying to live by them will make you a better person.


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