homophobic people are really starting to piss me off. if i get kicked out of athletics i will be so upset, i cant stand it. ok, she is in a completely different athletic period and she told the coaches that she feel uncomfortable with me in the locker room!! we're in two completely different class period.
I’ve never really been into the whole “gay marriage” thing. I’ve never really needed it, or felt like having it was something that really pertained much to me in my life. It never seemed important to my situations.
Maybe I was failing to see the bigger picture.
Maybe I’ve always had a hard time believing that something like that could ever happen to me, so why care if it can happen for someone else.
It’s funny how things change. One day you wake up and you’re just a complete different person, with completely different ideas, and completely different goals.
Maybe I just never had the right person in my life. One that makes you feel like you’re the most amazing person in the entire world.
Maybe I’ve never needed the thought of gay marriage, because I’ve never believed in someones’ ability to be gay and married. I’m not sure.
I believe that working in the bars for so long has been both the best and worst thing that could happen to me. The best part of it, is that you truly learn how to read people. You learn so much about people in general, and that knowledge is invaluable. Though, that’s also the worst part of it. You see people make mistakes. You see different sides of them. Sides you shouldn’t. Sides you wish you didnt. I’ve seen so many people that I thought were committed to their significant other, make decisions that show otherwise. And while it’s never anyones’ business….you find yourself frustrated with the situations in general. Eventually, you start to see just how much more difficult the gay community would be if marriage was allowed. You find yourself not wanting the label on your own relationship. Like it’s the mark of death or something.
Factor in the fact that I come from a broken home, raised predominately by my father, (with a shit ton of help from my grandparents) and you can see why I might not be a huge supporter of it.
However, the older I get the more I see the appeal.
I know what it feels like to love a person so much that you want to share everything with them. I know what it feels like to love a person so much that you want the world to be able to see that love. I know what it feels like to be afraid that the person that you love more than anything might not be able to see you in the hospital, or have the right to make decisions for you when you aren’t able to.
CASTING CALL
iso queer identified actress
NanoKat Pictures announces a nationwide search for our lead actress in a cutting edge,, multi media photography project with both a print and film distribution.
Atlanta's NanoKat Pictures, a dyke film production company, is Kat-I and Nan Segler.
Kat-I has made celluloid beautiful for 10 years for the likes of Ryan Phillipe, Brett Favre and the Ying Yang Twins. Her work travels the range of media from of commercials, feature films, music videos and still photography shoots. Check out www.katstylist.com to see the goregous.
Nano has been behind the camera for 20 years. You've seen her work on THE BLIND SIDE, THE NOTEBOOK and many, many, many commercials and music videos. Check out www.nansegler.com.
IMDB if you want to.
NanoKat Pictures has made two successful comedy shorts that have been distributed by the Canadian Film Distribution Centre. They have four walled at gay film festivals including Mix-NYC, London, Miami, Chicago's Reeling, Paris, Tokyo, Seoul and more! www.cfmdc.org
I posted this on my actual blog site as well, but found it to be important enough to copy/paste and add here as well.
I'll pimp out my blog page real quick.
http://xtraordinarymachine82.wordpress.com/
Here's the post.
Today, like any other day I woke up and got online. I checked my email, my blog, my facebook, and whatever other sites that happen to be included in my daily check-up-ons.
I read lots of things on facebook. People unable to sleep. People feeling sick and being angry. People being awake too early, or just inviting the world to know that they love their particular significant other. But, one thing bothered me, and inspired me to write this blog. This.
I found this posted by several different people. People I barely know, people I’m close with.
I say to those people, that you should be ashamed of yourselves.
We live in a country that has always been the model for freedom. People come to America to start their lives over. To give themselves hope and opportunity. There are people that die, trying to live in this country, to be a part of our liberties, our advantages, and our determination.
Would you suggest, that we as a nation, rip every ounce of compassion towards the rest of the world out from our insides? Would you ask that we stop being human beings that offer support to those that need it?
If there is anything the Prop 8 Trial in CA shows us, it's that once we bring truth & honesty into the arena of public opinion and share our stories, we gain what we seek.
Join a campaign. Fight for your rights. Every day of your life. We shall prevail.
Tonight, while standing behind the bar waiting for someone; anyone, to show up, I started thinking about things.
I remembered how easier things were as a kid. I remember having no responsibilities. No severe consequences.
I remember not having to worry about money, and relationships. How to make ends meet, or how to pull them closer together.
I remember being in school. I remember being praised by my grandparents.
“That’s my boy”, my grandpa would say while pointing at a chubby faced picture of me he kept in the living room on his piano, on display for everyone to see.
Coming from a family full of black sheep, I remember being designated “the one to succeed”.
I was the smart one. The one that was going to go places. The one that was going to be someone. The one to prove the theory that the men on my fathers’ side of the family weren’t always going to be failures.
I remember how jealous it made my cousins. I often got bullied because of it. How were they ever going to get outside of my shadow. And, how was I ever going to be inside of it.
I always felt pressured. Like, there was too much hope placed upon me. Like, no matter what, I was always going to disappoint someone. Like, I’d never be able to be everything that they wanted.
Of course, these high expectations were washed away when I came out of the closet. I stopped being the one that was going to go to college. The one that was going to go places, had suddenly only become the one that was going to hell. I became the blackest sheep in the herd. And, eventually I felt like every single one of them led me to the slaughterhouse.
So, I am no good at this writing thing, but bear with me will ya?
I have only been alive these past 23 some years. I have a lot to learn... the amount I have to learn, if we can use a measuring scale would be: shittons. But there are a few things that I would like to claim that I do indeed know. Maybe not 100% sure... but mostly sure.
I just recently attended a memorial for one of Toledo's known active gay man Greg Knott. And in a way it was eye opening. I realized how much I loved people close to me and how much I don't ever want to lose them. Then I realized immediately afterwards that this is something unavoidable... We all lose loved ones. It's a fact of life. It happens... Shit happens.
So after recent events I just wanted to share a little bit about what I know.
You should live life to the fullest although cliche but true and here is how I propose one "live life to the fullest."
Love people... to the fullest extent that you can; if you think you can love someone more than you already do, then try your damndest to do so. In the English language we use love for a variety of different things... for example we can love how this pizza tastes, love a friend, love a parent, or love a significant other. So for this example I will pull a word for love from the Hebrew language: called Raya. The literal translation would be: friend, or companion, or someone that you hang out with. Love with as much Raya to everyone you meet.
Every moment staying angry at some one is a moment lost. You could be laughing, dancing, skydiving, or any number of other things with the person whom you love.
Learn everything you can from people you meet. They may end up teaching you something that you don't know. At the very least they could make you laugh.
Laugh, laugh, and laugh some more. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others and have a good time.
Regarding work, do something you want to do, something you enjoy. There is no point staying in some workplace that you hate entirely.
Second day of hearings in the Prop 8 trial were pretty quiet. Hmm. Wonder what that means?
Are you the type of person who will jump into something new and be a leader, or do you wait for others to do it first, then just follow them?
I am in awe as to some of the responses I am getting from my friends on Facebook(tm), other sites, or even ones I know in the "real" world. During the pre-launch period of this site, which is actually still going on, I have talked to a few friends about the site, and listened to the feedback and recommendations.
I hear from them, "Yeah - great idea!", "Love the site!", or "I can not wait to start blogging on the site!". Well I wait patiently for them to join to site. I install Facebook Connect, so they can join with just one click.
The next time I see them, I ask, "Hey, when you going to join the site?" and the response I get is "I will, but you only have 20 users on the site so far!" This tells me my friends are followers, which is kind of a shock. I mean lets look at the facts. If everyone waited till there were 10,000 members on a site to join, no sites would be around.
I have to ask myself, did they wait till there were 10,000 members on MySpace, Facebook, or even Gay.com before they joined that site. Are we really that complacent these days?
Here at HomoSexualsOnly.com we have a medium to express ourselves, socialize in a community, share ideas and thoughts, help others by sharing our experiences, and even promote events in the LGBT community; without an atmosphere of hate or intolerance.
So, I am calling of my friends and family all over, lets be leaders and not followers. Take the 5 to 10 minutes to join this site and let our voices be heard.
Ok, I made the decision to go with 2 New Year's resolutions in 2010. I am kinda giggling inside asking myself if this is such a good idea or not, but I figure there are 2 things I want and need to change about myself this year.
The first resolution is my weight and health. Being 5o years old, and not getting any younger, I need to pay attention to my health. This means that the high protein, low carbohydrate diet is going to be my staple again for this year. I had done this diet before in the past, and successfully I may add. The problem has always been, eating healthy after getting off the diet. Maybe that can be my resolution for 2011?
The second resolution is to delete all my "cruising" accounts. This I "MUST" do. I have been in a relationship with the same person now going into its 4th year. I don't think I need my accounts at adam4adam, daddyhunt, silverdaddies, or manhunt any more. I always would tell myself, hey I can chat with my friends on those sites, so why close them. Then I finally realized, hey if they are my friends I have either their email addresses or better yet there cell phone numbers if I need to chat.
I went in this morning and closed two of the accounts. One of the site provides me with a free premium membership, due to my gay porn blog. I think I will just go into that one and change my profile to read "TAKEN"; although I know that no one will read it, they never do.
In talking to my boyfriend, I asked him what he thought about the gay.com account; he said well you may want to keep that one, so you can chat with some friends whom you do not have a cell phone number for. This made a little sense, but I really would not call them "friends"; they are more of bar buddies.
As for the first resolution, well let me tell you this, I have been real good about it so far, in fact I have been dreaming of a big damn piece of cake with lots of frosting....
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